TGIF

Wow - I can't believe it's Friday already.  I don't know where the week went.  Not like I have a lot going on or anything!!  First day of PT was good.  I can still do a good paschimottanasana (seated forward bend); however bending my knee into 90 degree or more flexion is more challenging.  Peddling a stationary bike at PT was PAINFUL.  I do have a little mini stationary bike at home that I'm using and today it was LESS painful.  My knee is like an old Chevy on a cold day.....Once I get it warmed up, it runs great, but getting it started up is difficult!!  

I've been reading and being introspective (as per my Tarot card, the Hooded Man, from Mt Shasta suggested); really examining what excites me as far as work goes.  Anyone who knows me well knows that being a stay at home mom was my career of choice and going back into the workforce at the age of 50 had not been my plan. But - divorce happens right? What's that saying: you make plans and God laughs.  Anyway, I am trying to figure out what I really want to do with my life.  As I'm turning 58 next week I better figure it out sooner than later!!!! I became a nurse because as a stay at home mom, caring for people was my job - and we've all heard about the "nursing shortage" and I assumed I'd have my pick of jobs as an RN.  That hasn't been the case.  As with most other professions in healthcare, specialization is everywhere.  You know what I mean: a doctor's not "just" a doctor.  He/She's an Orthopedist or an Endocrinologist or a Cardiologist.  Nursing is just the same: you're not "just" a nurse you're an Orthopedic nurse or an Oncology nurse or a Neonatal nurse.   Changing specialties isn't that easy. Especially for someone like me who is (one would assume) nearing the END of her career. 

I am contemplating what kind of nursing I'd LIKE to do.  Don't get me wrong - I do love neonatal nursing.  I love the babies - and their parents. When you click with a parent and really become part of their care team it's very rewarding work. I don't like the 12+ hr shifts, the unit drama,  the residents and attending physicians that don't listen to the bedside nurse, and the ever changing polices and procedures.  I hate the band-aid approach to healthcare which is the healthcare culture in the US.  I get frustrated with the disease-care mentality.  So what the hell am I doing in the field of nursing? Funny thing is my ex-husband told me 20 years ago (when I first thought of going to nursing school) that I would NOT be happy as an RN because, as he put it, I "don't like to take orders." 

Good question.  Time for some more introspection.

Today I did my PT exercises at home for the first time.  I am on a mission to rebound as quickly as I can.  Patience - right.  I have to be patient with recovery and not over do things and set myself back.  It was nice to do a few yoga poses and actually stand on my repaired knee!

 If I could find a way to incorporate my love of yoga, nutrition, and nursing I would have my dream job.  My Master's Degree in Integrative Medicine should help me out here but I think I need to be a practitioner for it all to gel into something that will actually be lucrative enough for me to earn a living.  I'd really love to work with young adults helping them design a lifestyle that will set the stage for a healthy old age and help them avoid the chronic diseases so prevalent today (i.e.: diabetes, cardiovascular disease, obesity, etc).