Struggles 1.0

yeah I'm having one of those days (Wednesday 9/13)  feeling sorry for myself......leg hurts from doing too much yesterday.  I know things will get better soon - I'll be back on my feet soon....this time next year it'll be but a memory right?  Let's hope so.

As this is a rehab my YOGA life blog, not just a KNEE blog: here's my struggles today.

Direction/Purpose/Meaning of my life

1.  What the hell direction should I go with my life? Geographically?  Keep travel nursing? Professionally?  keep nursing at all?  find a PhD program or DNP?  (school being my default when these existential questions arise)

2. Purpose.
If everything happens for a reason would someone please tell me the reason?  I want to know "why"  I want to know what purpose "everything" serves.   I know Steve Jobs said you can only connect the dots going backward.  Ok. Fine.  At what age can I start looking back to connect the dots?  What if that doesn't work? Then what?  My PurposeInLife kit isn't going to show up on my front door.

4.  Meaning.
How can my life have meaning if it doesn't have Purpose.
(see #3)

I just finished reading BIG MAGIC by Elizabeth Gilbert again.  It's such an inspirational book.  Her go to when feeling stuck is to be curious and to follow the curiosity.  What am I curious about? Right at this moment I really don't know....except for  What's the direction/purpose/meaning of my life?  I'll look for another curiosity.  Qi Gong? Ayurvedic Medicine?  Family Practitioner? Yoga Therapy? Write a novel?  hmmmmmm

Yesterday (Tuesday 9/12) was a good day -
went to Costco with Mary (and got to drive one of those motorized scooters LOL) and then we took Mia to the squirrel park and then went out to dinner.  It doesn't sound like a lot, but was not such a good idea on the day I back off pain meds. By the end of the night my knee was yelling at me.  It's going to take me some time to figure out how much it too much vs just enough.  

Maybe I should be curious about how to teach myself patience.